22/10/2009 by McAllister.

It was great to hang-out once again in Yamagata with Naoki and Yoshie, to cook veggie food round at their place. Each day I indulged in my favourite tofu dressed in a gorgeous sesame sauce. It is the one Japanese dish I will always miss.

Now I am cooking a tofu omelette for breakfast for Atsushi and Mako in Tokyo on my way home. They both helped me along the bumpy difficult 4 year project, and tomorrow I talk at the University where Toshiko works. Toshiko has been a strong supporter of me also. Oh dear there are so many people I have troubled making this film, so many people have tried keep my spirits high when I faced some of the darkest loneliest moments of my life lost in Japan.

To be with them all celebrating the awards for a successful film now is truly great and almost worth the pain. As I said when I picked up the award ‘It makes me almost love Japan. But not quite’.

Its funny to be sat with Atsushi, my Japanese film-school friend who started helping me on my difficult journey here in Tokyo 4 years ago. At times he could see no point and would tell me to give up and go home. ‘You will never find what you are looking for here Sean, go home, he would say, ‘Stop killing yourself’ So it is such a pleasure to be sat with him 4 years on drinking next to two trophies. I remember sitting in the same seat on many occasions lost here in Tokyo.

I’m happy we had a post screening party for Naoki and his co-workers from the post-office in Yamagata also. They never understood my filming at the time but at the party they were full of praise.  I’m pleased we also bumped into mushroom man. He pulled up on his post office bike during his delivery work. I love his smile. It reminds me of Naoki.

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16/10/2009 by McAllister.

Leaving Yamagata now with 2 heavy awards; Special Jury Prize and the Citizens’ Award. The latter being a gift from the people of Yamagata who voted for their fave film. Very touching.

The whole experience was nerve racking. I never knew how the Japanese would see the film but they laughed and were moved at all right points.  Some felt I made sweeping generalisations in my commentary which I guess was true. The jury gave the film a prize for ‘amazing access in an entertaining way’.

I leave Naoki and Yoshie as local heroes, or is it anti-heroes. He went to his doctors today who congratulated him on the film and said he never knew he was living with Yoshie who happens to be a patient of his also! People stopping and staring shaking Naoki’s hand is a far cry from the man I found hiding 4 years ago. Yoshie worries a little for the future and doesn’t want me to disappear and forget them. But tonight at her night job she expects to find more new customers coming to meet the local woman in the film.

I feel sad to leave Yamagata as this chapter in my life closes and a new one awaits me in the Middle East. But I don’t feel like I’m leaving Naoki and Yoshie behind, they are coming with me, an inspiration for making more films and many more friends in the future.

Watch an interview with Sean McAllister on NHK World

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14/10/2009 by McAllister.

On stage at Yamagata doc fest just won 2 prizes; award of excellence, and citizens award.

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11/10/2009 by McAllister.

I am now back in Yamagata which is a little bizarre. Played to 600 people yesterday which was nerve racking for me and for Naoki. Yamagata is Naoki’s hometown. They asked how he felt having exposed himself so naked in the film he said ‘relieved’. I suggested more people do it in Japan as a joke but they didn’t get. I was surprised though that they enjoyed the humour in the film especially the Viagra joke. I am almost enjoying being back in Japan… has my hate turned to love? Not quite. Today is the big screening in the 1200 seat cinema. It’s so great to see Yoshie enjoying the limelight almost more then Naoki.

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09/10/2009 by McAllister.

My return to Japan is an anxious semi-excited occassion since I heard I was in competition at the Yamagata Documentary Festival. It was great to arrive here in luxury; I think the only way to do Japan is to make sure someone else is paying. I slipped through the curtain from my premium economy seat to the cocktail bar in upper class. The Japanese girl serving said “I recognise you”. “You made that film about Naoki! It was great but very negative on Japan.”

I wondered if this was how Naoki’s hometown was going to receive the film at the weekend. We have 2 big screenings a 650 seat cinema and a 1200 seat screening. The only Japanese film in the competition (and filmed entirely in Yamagata), ‘Japan: A Story of Love and Hate’ is getting massive media attention. My friend Mr Matsui gave me last night’s paper featuring an article on my film, and yesterday I was interview on NHK World TV about my time in Japan and the film.

It’s all a long way from the struggle of making the film and my own love hate relationship with this distant difficult island. ‘No matter how long you look into the eyes of the Japanese you will never know what they are thinking’. A great quote that stays with as I stare longingly into these eyes of a nation I thought I’d come to really understand through making my film here. But the truth is that I don’t feel I really know this place at all. After a couple of days here again I’m thinking I only scratched surface.

I can’t wait to look into the eyes of 1200 Japanese as they watch my film in Yamagata.  Shock outrage or calm considered thought. I wonder, will I know what the Japanese are really thinking?

Yamagata International Documentary Film Festival 2009

October 8 - 15

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