It was great to hang-out once again in Yamagata with Naoki and Yoshie, to cook veggie food round at their place. Each day I indulged in my favourite tofu dressed in a gorgeous sesame sauce. It is the one Japanese dish I will always miss.

Now I am cooking a tofu omelette for breakfast for Atsushi and Mako in Tokyo on my way home. They both helped me along the bumpy difficult 4 year project, and tomorrow I talk at the University where Toshiko works. Toshiko has been a strong supporter of me also. Oh dear there are so many people I have troubled making this film, so many people have tried keep my spirits high when I faced some of the darkest loneliest moments of my life lost in Japan.

To be with them all celebrating the awards for a successful film now is truly great and almost worth the pain. As I said when I picked up the award ‘It makes me almost love Japan. But not quite’.

Its funny to be sat with Atsushi, my Japanese film-school friend who started helping me on my difficult journey here in Tokyo 4 years ago. At times he could see no point and would tell me to give up and go home. ‘You will never find what you are looking for here Sean, go home, he would say, ‘Stop killing yourself’ So it is such a pleasure to be sat with him 4 years on drinking next to two trophies. I remember sitting in the same seat on many occasions lost here in Tokyo.

I’m happy we had a post screening party for Naoki and his co-workers from the post-office in Yamagata also. They never understood my filming at the time but at the party they were full of praise.  I’m pleased we also bumped into mushroom man. He pulled up on his post office bike during his delivery work. I love his smile. It reminds me of Naoki.

Leaving Yamagata now with 2 heavy awards; Special Jury Prize and the Citizens’ Award. The latter being a gift from the people of Yamagata who voted for their fave film. Very touching.

The whole experience was nerve racking. I never knew how the Japanese would see the film but they laughed and were moved at all right points.  Some felt I made sweeping generalisations in my commentary which I guess was true. The jury gave the film a prize for ‘amazing access in an entertaining way’.

I leave Naoki and Yoshie as local heroes, or is it anti-heroes. He went to his doctors today who congratulated him on the film and said he never knew he was living with Yoshie who happens to be a patient of his also! People stopping and staring shaking Naoki’s hand is a far cry from the man I found hiding 4 years ago. Yoshie worries a little for the future and doesn’t want me to disappear and forget them. But tonight at her night job she expects to find more new customers coming to meet the local woman in the film.

I feel sad to leave Yamagata as this chapter in my life closes and a new one awaits me in the Middle East. But I don’t feel like I’m leaving Naoki and Yoshie behind, they are coming with me, an inspiration for making more films and many more friends in the future.

Watch an interview with Sean McAllister on NHK World

On stage at Yamagata doc fest just won 2 prizes; award of excellence, and citizens award.

I am now back in Yamagata which is a little bizarre. Played to 600 people yesterday which was nerve racking for me and for Naoki. Yamagata is Naoki’s hometown. They asked how he felt having exposed himself so naked in the film he said ‘relieved’. I suggested more people do it in Japan as a joke but they didn’t get. I was surprised though that they enjoyed the humour in the film especially the Viagra joke. I am almost enjoying being back in Japan… has my hate turned to love? Not quite. Today is the big screening in the 1200 seat cinema. It’s so great to see Yoshie enjoying the limelight almost more then Naoki.

My return to Japan is an anxious semi-excited occassion since I heard I was in competition at the Yamagata Documentary Festival. It was great to arrive here in luxury; I think the only way to do Japan is to make sure someone else is paying. I slipped through the curtain from my premium economy seat to the cocktail bar in upper class. The Japanese girl serving said “I recognise you”. “You made that film about Naoki! It was great but very negative on Japan.”

I wondered if this was how Naoki’s hometown was going to receive the film at the weekend. We have 2 big screenings a 650 seat cinema and a 1200 seat screening. The only Japanese film in the competition (and filmed entirely in Yamagata), ‘Japan: A Story of Love and Hate’ is getting massive media attention. My friend Mr Matsui gave me last night’s paper featuring an article on my film, and yesterday I was interview on NHK World TV about my time in Japan and the film.

It’s all a long way from the struggle of making the film and my own love hate relationship with this distant difficult island. ‘No matter how long you look into the eyes of the Japanese you will never know what they are thinking’. A great quote that stays with as I stare longingly into these eyes of a nation I thought I’d come to really understand through making my film here. But the truth is that I don’t feel I really know this place at all. After a couple of days here again I’m thinking I only scratched surface.

I can’t wait to look into the eyes of 1200 Japanese as they watch my film in Yamagata.  Shock outrage or calm considered thought. I wonder, will I know what the Japanese are really thinking?

Yamagata International Documentary Film Festival 2009

October 8 - 15

The road to damascus is getting harder. Waiting for my Syrian visa in Sofia is fun though. I found a great place called The Art Hostel with a cool cave like underground bar. A place for artists and the like to meet and drink. The other night I met an aussie whose brother had defended a gypsy he’d seen being attacked by a 21 year old skinhead. In the fight the aussie ended up killing the skinhead and now he’s in jail waiting trial for murder.

The 21 year skinhead was from a good family studying law. His right wing beliefs were known and fully acceptable here, such is the feeling towards the 2 million gypsies. I shook the mans hand and passed my best wishes to his brother in jail.

Defending gypsies here isn’t cool. I’d called a student I’d met the night before a racist for his negative talk about them and he was insulted. It is  different here he said. He told me that as an outsider I don’t understand how they rob and mug to make a living. But I said if you are a country of 5 million with 2 million gypsies doing nothing are they not a drain on the economy? I said you should perhaps view the country as a company. Would you leave 2 million people standing idle in your company or find a way of including them to make them productive?

The young Bulgarian student was angry he just wanted rid of them. I said ok why don’t you kill them all like hitler did with jews. Problem solved. No no he protested I’m not a racist.  Later my friend, Nizam, shows me a flashing  swastika key ring he bought from a tourist shop. But the rise of right is no joke over here it seems.

Below is the email I wrote to the festival in acceptance. For some reason they want to show the very very long (110mins) version of the film that I made for NHK. I wanted them to show my 70min festival version but lost the fight.

Here is my mail to them…

I am pleased my mission was worthwhile to a japanese audience as well as to western audiences here. I get emotional mails everyday from japanese or westerners who worked as teachers in rural Japan some who had difficulty voicing their experiences as they run counter to the many misconceptions of japan often created by lazy western media who don’t take the time to understand and playout the usual stupid streotypes.

The film got enormous attention on the BBC playing twice at 9pm prime time many pages of news print reviews and Naoki tasted the fame and success he deserves at festival premieres in Sheffield and Amsterdam. The part time postman enjoyed being the movie star for a few days! The film won various awards at many festivals around the world so the icing on the cake for me was to be selected for your festival in Naoki’s hometown - and have my japanese family reunited once more to celebrate all their efforts in making our great film.

I have no objection to you showing the 110 min version if you feel it is more interesting for your audience. In my mail to Taichi I said I hope there may be a way of making the 70 min version available for people to see also maybe in the library. For me it is very personal, as you know it is a big part of my life. Whether I like it or not I feel kind of half japanese now anyway.
Thanks to everyone for selecting the film. I have no problem with you showing the 110 min version.
Cheers sean

hi sean san

these are picture of newspaper.

one has using our picture which you took.

this is yamagata regional version of Asahi news .

Asahi is interested in your film.

Asahi is biggest news paper and tv company in japan.

ther article is sympathetic to your film.

another one is writen by a biggest news paper company in yamagata.

this paper has admiration for your film.cause this is the first time chosen which used object in Yamagata.

Naoki

It is really good that someone took the time to post my japan film on YouTube.

I was in the pub in my hometown Hull when I got a mail from  Kev (the
guy in  my first film ‘Working For the Enemy’ 1997 who now runs my website,
+ my friend Sean Langan’s site too) telling me he had just found it.   I had the pleasure of
watching my own film between pubs on my new Blackberry Bold, which was fun.

Then my friend Nick sent a mail to say he’d also seen the film on YouTube and it had
already had 3000 hits which was nice to know. When I got home I found the
following mail  waiting for me.

“This is one of the best documentary movies I have ever seen–very well
constructed into a compelling story that revealed much about contemporary Japan.
Your film hooked me to the point that I am very curious about what happened
to the couple after the happy ending.  I am waiting in anticipation for your sequel– any chance?”

It feels like there isn’t a day go by when I don’t get something like this. It is very encouraging for me as I
struggle to get a new film off the ground in the very very familiar setting
of my hometown where I started out gosh it must be over 20 years ago.

Funny, I still feel like the newcomer. The new kid on the block not quite sure what
I’m doing each time, navigating myself through similiar motions in different
places with different people. This time I am looking for a film to be part of a
new BBC season on the north of England. Slowly but surely I hope to be
getting somewhere.

Sean
19 june 2009